Brunner Forever

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Today was my last official day at Brunner School.  And that doesn't seem real.  And I don't know when it will.

With colors low doesn't have the same ring to it.
I cannot express how thankful I have been for the last 9 years at this school, and the out pouring of support that has come way as I prepare to leave.

Back in June of 2010, I had another last day in that parking lot.  I was ending my first year as a school librarian, and it had been hard.  I remember barely feeling like I was holding my head above water most of the time.  My colleagues have always been wonderful, but I was new and inexperienced and there was no other person like me in the building I could talk too.  I had also been RIF'ed a month earlier, reduction in force, right before the teacher's appreciation luncheon at all times.  I didn't know that afternoon, as I stood with my assistant, Grace, if I would even have a job in the fall.  And that was scary.  Even though when I took this job, I was only planning on doing it for a year.  Brunner is the only elementary school I have ever applied to work at.  Every other application, and interview and quiet wish had been for positions working with older kids.  But, when I was offered the job at Brunner, I took it.  And even though that first year was hard, even though I had to struggle and adapt, after having done it, I didn't want to be kept from coming back.

We all know that they let me.  And I was happy for it.

This afternoon I stood in that parking lot again, this time with two of my wonderful colleagues, and it wasn't scary.

It was sad and it was meaningful, but as I told them, being here at this job, it has given me the confidence to take this risk.  For the very first time in my life, I am not choosing what's safe. 

Because I feel safe at Brunner School.  I feel loved.  I feel capable.  And I feel all that because I have been allowed to grow into it and see my potential.

How do you thank people for something like that?

I packed my bags today.  Put things in their places, doled out hugs and promises to keep in touch, and told the new librarian that this is all hers now.  And I turned out the lights.  This one last time.

And, for those of you who know how much Ms. Hirschhorn loves TV, this comes as no surprise.  I thought of one of my favorite teachers: Mr. Feeny.  In his words:

I love you all.  Class dismissed.
Location: Scotch Plains, NJ 07076, USA

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